Thursday, June 18, 2026

The Holy Disappearance

 

“I will decrease so that the Lord may increase.”

I’ve sat with these words again and again, trying to wrap my life around them, trying to whisper them not just from my lips but from deep within. And each time I come back to them, I find myself staring not at an idea, but at a man—John the Baptist, the desert preacher who refused to cling to the spotlight. A man who knew how to get out of the way.

And I wonder—do I know how to disappear like that?

In a world where being seen feels like survival, where recognition often masquerades as worth, I’m still learning what it means to decrease. I don’t mean a performative shrinking, a false humility that hopes to be praised for being “humble.” I mean the raw, vulnerable surrender that happens when I stop reaching for control, stop feeding my need to be heard, and simply make space—for Christ, for others, for grace.

John’s story undoes me.

He had crowds. He had authority. He had a following, and the kind of clarity of purpose I sometimes envy. People walked into the wilderness just to hear him speak. They stood in the dust and the heat because he carried something real—truth and conviction and the wild scent of heaven. But when Jesus came into view, John didn’t tighten his grip. He loosened it.

“He must increase; I must decrease,” he said.

What would I have done?

Would I have clung a little longer to the crowd? Would I have grown bitter watching my influence slip into someone else’s hands—even if those hands were Christ’s? Would I have questioned the timing, asked God why the light was shifting away from me, even though I knew it must?

There’s something almost brutal about true humility—it calls for a quiet death. Not once, but over and over. The dying of the ego. The dying of the need to be seen. The dying of the story where I am always the central character. And yet, in that death, there is also strange joy. John didn’t just fade—he rejoiced. He said his joy was now complete.

I’ve been thinking about what it means to have that kind of joy. A joy that doesn’t come from being recognized, but from watching Christ be recognized. A joy that grows when I grow small. A joy that blossoms when I stop trying to prove that I matter and start resting in the truth that He does.

Some days, this joy feels close. Like when I’m praying in the dark, alone, and feel the soft presence of God like a hand on my shoulder. No audience. No applause. Just grace, just communion. Just enough. On those days, I understand what John meant. I don’t want to be in control. I don’t need to be. I just want Jesus to shine.

But other days—many days—my soul resists. It aches to be noticed. I check my motives and find them mixed. I speak of Jesus, but sometimes I’m still hoping people will remember me. I say I want to serve, but deep down I want to be appreciated for serving. I say, “He must increase,” but I whisper, “Can I stay visible while He does?”

I wonder if John ever felt that, too. He was human. Did he ever feel forgotten? Did he long for more time, more attention, more understanding? The Gospels tell us that in prison, he sent his disciples to Jesus with a question that haunts me: “Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?” The man who once boldly declared, “Behold the Lamb of God,” was now asking, “Are You really Him?”

That question doesn’t sound like doubt to me—it sounds like a man stripped bare. Alone. Unsure. Wondering whether his letting go had been worth it. Wondering whether he had faded too soon.

I know that place. The in-between. The place where you’ve surrendered something precious, but you haven’t yet seen the fruit of it. The place where you’ve chosen obedience, but the outcome is hidden. The prison moments. The lonely, invisible moments. The moments where you want to believe the decrease was for something holy, but your heart still feels empty.

And yet, Jesus does not rebuke John for asking. He honors him. He says, “Among those born of women there has arisen no one greater than John the Baptist.”

John’s greatness didn’t come from being loud or prominent or even perfect in his faith. It came from his posture. From the wilderness road he walked. From the space he made for Christ to be revealed. From his willingness to disappear without resentment.

I want that kind of holiness.

I want to know how to live with open hands. How to love without needing credit. How to plant seeds I may never see bloom. How to speak truth without worrying about who’s listening. How to serve in hidden corners and call it joy. How to remember that ministry is not a stage—it’s a surrender.

The longer I walk with Christ, the more I sense He is always inviting me to go lower. Not in shame, but in freedom. Not in invisibility for its own sake, but in the kind of hiddenness where He becomes visible. It’s not about shrinking—it’s about shifting the spotlight. It’s about understanding that my name doesn’t have to echo in people’s minds if His name is glorified.

Even now, I think of the spaces where I’m still holding on too tightly. The platforms I want to stand on. The praises I want to hear. The ways I’m afraid to step back. And I ask, “Lord, teach me to decrease.”

Because the truth is, when I decrease—when I stop trying to be everything—I begin to see that He is enough. My limitations make space for His sufficiency. My smallness becomes a canvas for His glory. And suddenly, I’m not afraid of being unseen. I’m just grateful to be included in the story.

Maybe that’s what humility really is. Not thinking less of myself, but thinking of myself less. Not despising the gifts I’ve been given, but using them without clinging to the applause. Not vanishing completely, but being so rooted in Christ that I don’t mind if no one remembers my name—as long as they remember His.

John’s holy disappearance wasn’t a tragedy. It was a fulfillment. He had done what he was called to do. He had prepared the way. He had opened the path. And when his time came to fade, he didn’t fight it. He embraced it.

Lord, help me do the same.

Let my life prepare the way. Let my words clear the path. Let my ministry, however quiet or small, be a holy invitation that points to You.

And when it is time to be silent, time to step back, time to be still—give me the grace not to grasp. Give me the joy that John had. The joy of hearing Your voice rise above mine. The joy of knowing that if I disappear, and You are made known, I have not lost—I have found everything.

A Christian thought: The way of Jesus is always the way down—into surrender, into trust, into the quiet freedom of humility. And when we make peace with disappearing, we find ourselves hidden not in the shadows of obscurity, but in the light of His glory. May we decrease, and in doing so, behold the beauty of Christ increasing before our eyes.

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The Holy Disappearance

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